Stop talking yourself out of your life purpose!

Stop talking yourself out of your life purpose!

It can take a while before you figure out what the Universe has in store for you. People see me all the time to find out their life purpose. It seems so obvious to me what a complete stranger’s purpose is but why doesn’t he or she know it for themselves? Actually, they do.

Why does it take someone you don’t know to tell you what your heart desires before you believe it? The answer is pretty straightforward, and it sucks, frankly.

Doubts and fears debilitate us. They prevent us from moving forward into the unknown. We have a tendency to look back to where we came from because it’s comfortable. But as we all know, change happens outside of our comfort zones! Just because we know a universal truth in our minds does not mean we have any sort of faith in it.

Sometimes a trusted friend can cut through the bullshit and tell us the truth. Or, the same friend may hold back the truth to protect us from getting hurt.  The dichotomy is infuriating!

I’m a big believer of unfettered honesty. Wouldn’t you rather know the truth than blindly chase something that isn’t real? My time and efforts are valuable to me.  So please save me the trouble of wasting my time on something that isn’t worth it when you see it.  I may not want to hear it in that moment, but after I calm down I’ll probably appreciate it.

For instance, you know that a job isn’t right for you. It’s not fun. You hate your boss and coworkers. Waking up to get ready for work fills you with dread. You clock-watch the entire day waiting for the misery to end.

So why don’t you quit? Looking for new work is hard. The learning curve sucks at a new job. You will deal with the same politics when you move on. Now, this concept is not limited to your job or career.  The same can be applied to relationships, poor eating habits, starting an exercise program, education, etc.  So why don’t you quit doing what’s wrong for you, and do what’s right?

You convince yourself you won’t make money at it. Entrepreneurs are notorious for failing at businesses. The good ones eventually succeed but it takes a lot of time to get there. Time and money that you may not have.  Moving on from a crappy relationship is hard because your finances might be tied up, or you have kids, or a million other reasons why you can’t leave.

But what if you absolutely crush it when you move forward? What if you are unstoppably successful? 

Are we so scared to succeed we talk ourselves out of trying in the first place?  Life is hard. Without risk, there is no reward. We are making life way harder than it needs to be.

How do we get out of the cycle of repeated torture? We need to reprogram our brains to stop the negative self talk. Fill up our minds with thoughts of success rather than failure. Rip out the criticism and replace it with praise for all the things we love to do and are good at! We need to be our own cheerleaders. Don’t look to other people to give you approval, give it to yourself.

Can we escape from the prison of our minds? Yes we can! I’ve seen so many people chasing their dreams and making them a reality. I want that for myself. Every little step I take in the direction of my dream is one more step closer to achieving it. It’s not easy, cheap, or quick. But it’s something. Real.

When I started Sacred Ash Divination back in April 2013, I was scared to death.  What if people didn’t support me?  What if I lost my friends who didn’t believe in new age-y spirituality?  What if no one thought I was good at mediumship or psychic readings?  I hustled hard and got my website up, got my Paypal account hooked up for online payments, and I started up my Facebook and Twitter accounts for my business to get the word out.

I made the most money I ever made in that first year at this business because I had everything on the line.  I had been laid off from work and was unemployed for 4 months.  However, I put my full-time efforts into my business and it blossomed!  But, I panicked that I wasn’t making as much money as I had in my corporate career and I convinced myself to go back.  Soon after that fear set in, my efforts on my business dwindled and so did the success.  I didn’t lose any friends, in fact many of them paid for readings and supported my venture!  But what I came to realize is that I took one step forward and two steps back.  Fear is the killer of dreams.

I hope you’ll start believing in your destiny if you haven’t done so already. Where might you end up if you stopped talking yourself out of your life purpose?

Happy.

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Journaling as a stepping stone to manifestation

Journaling as a stepping stone to manifestation

As a little girl, I remember I used to sit in my closet and journal in my Disney Pocahontas diary.  The pages were lined and purple.  The diary even came with a lock and key!  Without fail I would lock away my thoughts, literally, and hide my diary in a far corner of the closet so none of my family members would ever discover it.  In the mind of an 11-year-old me, I had a dramatic existence.  My trusted journal contained the sordid details of my friends, my crushes, how much I disliked homework, and also how I coped with being bullied.  I have a funny sounding name that most people hadn’t heard before.  The hideous variations that kids would spew at me through the hallways at school and on the playground still invoke a sadness in my heart.

The point is that my diary contained everything I never wanted to share with anyone else.  As a child I didn’t have a lot of close friends because my family had moved frequently through my formative years.  That diary was the only constant in my life.

Over the years I continued journaling on and off.  I never got into a steady habit until a few years ago when I started developing my mediumship practice. That’s when everything changed.

My strange experiences started showing up in patterns.  Things happened in a way that I could sometimes anticipate them.  The instincts I had naturally started being proven to me when I had a record to compare to.

Writing my goals, my affirmations, and drawing pictures within my journal helped me focus my thoughts so that I could one day start my mediumship business.  It helped me get through a period of time that I was laid off for four months as well and no income was coming in except my unemployment insurance cheques.  That was a devastating time, but my old friend – the journal – kept me sane and optimistic.  And when I finally got offers for jobs, I would create pros and cons lists to see which I should accept and why.

Have you got a regular journaling practice?  What kind of diary do you like to keep?  Is it a pretty, leather-bound one?  Or, do you prefer just a utilitarian exercise book?  Tell me about your journaling practice, I’m very curious to know if you have a practice.  If you don’t, why not?

Thanks for reading!

Playing mind games…with yourself

Playing mind games…with yourself

Positive thinking.  It can lead to better health, less stress in life, and improved relationships with people you know.  So if I just tell myself it’s a nice day outside and put a smile on my face, is that enough?  Am I going to achieve great things from making a few small changes?  Will I be abundant?

The answer to all those questions is a giant MAYBE.  Yes, if you have a smile on your face it can make you feel a bit better throughout the day.  Putting your best foot forward is always a good idea.  Making small changes every day will lead to a big change in the near future.  Everything must be in place first before you can move forward.

One of the biggest things people forget is that you have to be precise about what you want to accomplish.  If you have ever gone through a performance review at your job, you know I’m talking about goal setting.  Your boss is always asking you to be specific about the goals for the coming year so that they have a benchmark to base your performance on.

Manifesting your dreams is the same idea.  You must ask for something specific and tangible.

For example:

If you are tired of your current work situation, you can’t just say “Universe, I want a better job!”  The Universe doesn’t know what you mean by “better job”. Instead, say something like “Universe, I am blessed because I have a career with amazing benefits.  It pays me well. I like the people I work with.  I’m happy with my job and I have a great boss.”  Notice the difference in the tone and phrasing.  The tone is present tense as though you already have it.  Then you must believe and feel that you already have it.  Imagine what it feels like to have this dream job.  Visualize the space, the coworkers, the location, how happy and excited you are to be there.  Go ahead and tell the Universe how much money you want to make. Do this exercise every day until you begin to believe it’s real.  Next the universe will catch up to you (rather quickly) and everyone will be shocked that you were so fortunate.

Except you weren’t fortunate or lucky.  You worked to make it happen through the power of your mind.  Thoughts are incredibly powerful.  Books have been written about the subject.  Your mindset is so important if you want to have a rich and abundant life.

Last month, I was feeling really down on myself and things hadn’t gone as I had planned.  I encountered a bit of emotional conflict and wanted to reach out to people to support me but I didn’t know how.  I’d lost touch with a lot of old friends and I wanted to reconnect.  Would they even welcome me back since I’d been so lazy staying in touch?  I asked the Universe for help and phrased my goal in this way: “I’m reconnecting with my old friends.  We are going out for dinner, drinks, hanging out, etc.  I’m feeling so blessed to be surrounded by my friends and they are exactly where I need them to be.”  The Universe responded in a big way.  All of a sudden, my social calendar was filled up with girly dates!  We went for dinner, coffee dates, walks by the river, wine nights, and dancing!  I was going out and having fun.  Friends that I’d lost touch with for months and even years were getting in touch with me.  My texts were filled with notes from beautiful souls!  I would say that from the time I requested being surrounded by friends till I manifested it into reality was maybe a week.  It’s been a month now since the request was made and the manifestation is still happening!

My life has been so enriched by a simple request that was specific and real.  If you haven’t tried this little mental trick yet, give it a shot and see what happens.  What have you got to lose?

Dumb, angry birds 

Dumb, angry birds 

In the crisp morning air at 6:30am Monday to Friday, I walk to my office building from home.  I live in downtown Calgary and my stroll to work is a glorious time to be outside in the fresh air.  Traffic is light at that time, both pedestrian and vehicular.  The sunrises are spectacular, though I don’t always get a lot of sun with the tall buildings around me.  I enjoy my morning commute immensely, even if that sometimes means getting a whiff of early morning weed off the apartment buildings in my neighbourhood of the Beltline, or saying hello to a friendly bottle collector pushing his cart full of belongings along the alley.

Note to bottle collector: Dude, gravel alleys are totally wrecking your grocery cart tires.  I’m no expert or anything, but that’s why the one wheel is spinning, off balance, and giving you zero control.  You’re welcome.  You’ll probably never see this post.  Moving on…

As part of my journey to work, I have to take the 8th Street SW Underpass.  It is currently under construction.  Recently, the east side of it was completed, and now the west side is under repair.  The 8th Street Underpass is the most heavily used pedestrian corridor into downtown.  About $8.8 million was budgeted by the City of Calgary to enhance this particular stretch of walkway.

The urban lifestyle has its pros and cons.  Some of the good points include being able to walk to work, get groceries, have access tons of eateries, services, and not drive for the most part.  The cons include limited and expensive parking, smaller homes, higher property taxes, homeless people, drug addicts, drunks, and consequently a higher crime rate.

Typically, the 8th Street Underpass serves as a temporary shelter to transient folks looking for a place to panhandle or pass out.  That means having to avoid tripping over them where the underpass narrows.  Well, it narrows because someone is sleeping or sitting on the one side and people strolling South or North have a smaller area to pass.  The smells and sights are oft vomit inducing. In fact, a little dance is sometimes required to delicately hop over piles of garbage, urine puddles, and barf splatters!  The B.O. furthermore clogs the air and one must hold their breath whilst performing the 8th Street Underpass Tango.

To add to the mottled experience of using the pedestrian corridor, sometimes a flock of sparrows is attracted to the leftover, rotting food left by the nomads.  These aren’t just your run of the mill friendly, singing, delightful sparrows.  No, these are devil spawn that are probably near-sighted and tipsy from consuming the high sodium junk food content of the scattered food stuffs and leftover alcohol that the vagrants forgot to finish.  The little bastards flutter around the especially cramped sections of the underpass.  They don’t even try to wait until you’ve moved on before they turn into violent missiles of rabies or avian flu aiming directly for your legs or face.  Many a time I’ve almost been smacked in the head by these drunk birds!

As I pass by the section where these birds are known to dwell, I try to avoid eye contact to prevent any sort of provocation of a flighted attack.  IT NEVER SEEMS TO WORK!!!  What the hell do these assholes want anyway?  I don’t have bird seed and I’m not carrying beer.  So please fuck off!

Sometimes I mutter “Love and light, love and light” as I amble on and that doesn’t seem to have any effect either. Screaming all manner of profanities at the winged hooligans, I quicken my pace to get the hell out of there!

Had I known the 8th Street underpass was basically an aviary for dumb, angry birds I’d probably stop using it.  I can deal with the unsavouries and grossness.  But those shitty little birds are something else.

YOU’VE BEEN WARNED, PEOPLE!

 

The Aviary of Hell aka 8th Street Underpass

 

Intro to Smudging

Intro to Smudging

After you have done some of the releasing that you need to, it’s time to cleanse your home.  Clearing your space isn’t just about tidying up and tossing out garbage.  Conducting an energetic clearing of your home removes blockages and negative energy that may have built up in your home or office over time.

When you enter your home from a long day of work or school, you may be exhausted or stressed.  Those energies that you bring in keep piling up in the place that is meant to be your sanctuary.  Compound that with arguments at home with your spouse or children, and more of that negative energy builds up.  If you have a tendency to attract toxic people in your life, that energy will also pour into your home.  Eventually all of that “sludge” will clog up the air and you will feel tense and unrelaxed.  If you are an empath like myself, you’ll feel that energy begin to put a damper on your mood and you will feel the inclination to maybe open a window to let some fresh air in.  This is a great temporary fix.  And when you live in Calgary, where the temperature can fluctuate between freezing cold and boiling hot from day to day, it’s not always practical to leave your windows open constantly.

One of the best methods to clear your space is to use something called “smudging”.  Typically, you can pick up a smudge stick at a metaphysical shop or at a business that sells incense.  Shopping online will open up even more options for buying in bulk or getting herbal blends within the smudge for certain scents that may appeal to you.  Sage is typically the main ingredient, but some places will sell individual herbs to create your own smudge stick at home.  Maybe you’ll want to add cedar or lavender to the mix.

A lot of practitioners will also buy an abalone shell to carry or snuff out the smudge.  Another tool to help you fan the smoke around you is a decorative feather.  This could be something found in nature that you come across on a walk, or you can pick up something special with colourful beads, leatherwork, or extra embellishments that appeal to you.  The fan is a symbolic representation of spirit’s hand in guiding the smoke as it cleanses your space.  Tribal cultures always honour the ancestors (or spirit) before and after a clearing ceremony.  Consider doing this yourself as I find asking for help makes the ritual much more effective.  Thank your spiritual guides after the work is complete as gratitude will invite more positivity into the home.

Before you start the ritual, ground yourself and get into a meditative space.  Open your heart and mind, and set your intention to clear your home or whatever space you intend to detoxify.  Ask spirit to help you remove any blockages to abundance and prosperity that may have built up over time.  Invite spirit to welcome new opportunities for health, financial stability, or attracting better relationships.  Breathe in deeply and get ready to commence.

Upon lighting the smudge, it will give off a fragrant white smoke.  I prefer to use a BBQ lighter because my smudge has a tendency to go out after a few minutes and I need to re-light it a few times before I’m done clearing.  It can take a bit of work for older smudge to light properly so a match is not the best for this task.  Candles are a great option for lighting smudge.

Close your eyes and visualize that this smoke will detoxify your space as it reaches the far corners of your home.  Use your feather to fan the smoke outward from you.  As you walk around your home carrying the smudge, be sure to spend extra time in a place that you think has stagnant energy.  This could be a home office, living room or kitchen where you spend a lot of time.  The bedroom is a great place to focus if you want to improve your sleep and clear the air of the lingering thoughts that fill your head and prevent restful sleep.

Bring your attention to exterior doorways and windows.  Run the smudge smoke along the perimeter of the windows and entryways of your home and ask that no negative energy enter.  Imagine that you’re creating a shield around your windows and exit doors that will stop toxic energy from coming in.  Ask that only positive and loving energy be invited.  Setting your intention for what is allowed in and out makes the work much more powerful.

When you are done walking through all the rooms in your home and you’ve set up your shields around the windows and doors, go back to the first place you started and thank the ancestors, spirit, or angels (whoever you invited to assist you in the first place) and snuff out your smudge into the abalone shell.  Maybe it’ll go out on its own naturally.  Some people prefer to let nature do its work, but for safety reasons I prefer to snuff mine out in case there is a lit ember that I’m unaware of.

After you have finished, breathe in deeply and revel in the lightness of your home.

How frequently should you clear your home?  I think that depends on your circumstances.  If you have a home-based business or you invite a lot of guests over, they can carry a lot of energy with them that you may not know is positive or negative.  Maybe in that situation you may clear your home every day or every week.  Or if you don’t have a lot of visitors, you might clear it every few weeks or months.  It really depends on your mood and what is practical for you.  There is no right or wrong way to do this.  Enjoy the work and give it a shot!

Get in touch with me if you are hesitant to try this on your own and would like a professional space clearing done.

Releasing the old

Releasing the old

When you’ve decided to move on with your life after a time of upheaval, you should take the time to release the energies of the past before opening the door to new possibilities.

For instance, maybe you have decided you no longer want to remain friends with a toxic person.  Or you’ve endured a bad breakup.  Perhaps you lost your job.  Maybe a loved one passed away and you’ve been in mourning.  Or you heard some bad news about your health.  Any of these major life changes can have a dampening effect on your psyche.  After a period of feeling sad, depressed, or angry, you might decide that it’s time to move on.

One of my favourite exercises for releasing the stagnant energy past is writing a letter and burning it.  The act of writing is very cathartic.  It’s intimate and heartfelt.  You can be as angry or sad as you want in it.  Use bad words.  Cry all over it until the ink smears or runs down the page. You’ll never be sending it out to anyone so you can say whatever you want.  There’s no need to be diplomatic or worry about hurt feelings.  Once you have written down everything you’ve ever wanted to voice, you can burn the letter and release the energy into the Universe.  The negative energy will no longer reside within you and a burden will be lifted.  You intention is to move on and let go of the past.

If you live in a place where open fires or candles are not allowed, burying the letter is also another option.  Another method might be to rip up your letter and release the energy before tossing it out.  Whatever works for you.

Another brilliant tactic is to scream your head off.  Maybe go for a long drive or wait until you’re alone in your home.  Scream.  Keep screaming at the top of your lungs until you are exhausted.  Put all your negative thoughts into the force behind the scream.  Eventually you’ll lose your voice or give yourself a headache.  Perfect!

If you are a creative person, maybe drawing something or using one of those adult colouring books might appeal to you.  As you colour vividly with negative thoughts in your head, you will eventually get to a point where you think that whatever you’ve made is beautiful.  That’s your release.

Going through an exercise like what I’ve described above helps you empty your tanks of anything that holds you back from achieving your goals.  It’s important to clean the slate. It will make you feel better so you can stop dwelling on the past.  We overanalyze and keep replaying thoughts in our head that we have no control over.  This is a waste of energy and time.  Spend your energy on something that will benefit you and be constructive, not keep you in the place you started.

My next blog post will be about energy clearing and removing blocks on your life to make room for abundance.