Last week, I underwent a minor surgical procedure to trim a torn medial meniscus in my left knee. I had injured it skiing 2.5 years prior and it only started acting up in October 2015. My surgeon did a knee arthroscopy to correct the problem and I’ve been in healing since.
However, in the week leading up to the surgery, I was filled with anxiety about it. Literally anything and everything would set me off in a dangerous spiral of paranoia and debilitating fear. I would hyperventilate and breath shallow. There was tightness in my throat and chest. I would start crying about the dumbest things. This type of psychological drama is foreign to me. I normally keep my wits about me and am typically fearless in all aspects of my life. So what the hell happened to my confidence? I know, it all went to shit!
In any case, I called on my spirit guide frequently leading up to the date of my scope. Never having gone through an invasive procedure like this, I was terrified of something going wrong. What if there was a scar left behind? What if I could never walk again if the surgeon messed up? What if I died on the operating table from some freak blood clot? What if the local anesthesia didn’t work and I felt everything? Aaaaaahhhhhh!
I was so anxious that I, in fact, didn’t even tell my family the date of my surgery because my mom is usually a nervous wreck anyway and I didn’t want the burden of having to ease her mind when my own wasn’t even close to having it together. She was mad at me for not telling her, but I had my reasons and I am still quite sure I made the right decision on that one.
While I awaited surgery, my spirit guide, Inanna, came into my little waiting “room” and kept me company. I told her to show up in full adult form in front of me. She did. I asked her to show herself in her glory, in the Mesopotamian military regalia that I expected she wore (not the fairy queen outfit I gave her in my mind so she could be pretty). I asked her to show herself as a warrior because that’s who I needed in that room. She held my hand and told me everything would be fine. She stood watch over me as I fitfully stared at the ceiling and awaited the nurse to call me in. Inanna wore ornate, scaled bronze armour minus the weapons, and when I saw that, it shielded me too. After all, she is the Goddess of War (among other things including love, sex and fertility.)
Inanna, accompanied me to the OR and stood by to ensure that I was ok. This was the first time I felt her incredibly warm presence and reassurance for such a prolonged period of time. Much to my relief everything went fine with the procedure. It only took 15 minutes from the time the incisions were made and the time the surgeon sealed the wounds. Easy peasy lemon squeezy!
The recovery this week has been going well. I am able to walk, have no blood clots and I await the steri tapes falling off at some point so I can inspect my scars underneath. I’ve heard chicks dig scars! Haha! Steri tapes hold incisions closed so that stitches are not required to be removed later.
Have you called on your spirit guides/angels/guardians in times of need and healing? If you haven’t yet, give it a shot! Allow them to bring their wealth of knowledge and unconditional love to the table. I found I didn’t have to fight my fears alone. My friends also listened to my incessant ramblings and I credit them with keeping me sane. But I had someone else with me the whole time which brought immense peace to me even when I thought I was spiraling out of control.
Inanna told me that this experience was to be my baptism into the next chapter of my life and I was to shed my old skin. Sometimes we don’t always understand the messages that our guides give us, but we have to be open to the communication.
Universe, in the meantime, I say BRING IT!