Mars Retrograde is over! What now?

So….I totally didn’t know about this until it ended. LOL

Thank god June is over!  I’m not sure if anyone was going through a lot of person “hell” but I know I had a topsy turvy month of emotional warfare from within.  Did you feel hypersensitive to everyone and everything?  Snapping at people, being generally over-anxious, and feeling the weight of the world’s problems.  These were all signs of Mars Retrograde apparently and this period literally just ended.  Ok, I’ll admit I only looked it up yesterday.  Phew!  Mars is the Roman god of war, so the turbulence you may have suffered can be attributed to this astrological phenomenon.  Everyone just take a breath and be grateful you survived.  And if you felt nothing this month, we are all very jealous!  It’s time to begin the next chapter of our lives.  How do we do that?

When I meditate, I generally do not quiet my mind and have all thoughts disappear.  I enjoy meeting with my spirit guide during meditation and ask her to show me the signs of what’s coming next for me and what I should be preparing for.  Sometimes it takes a few days of reflection to figure out what the symbols mean.

My intuition is telling me that there is going to be a period of slow growth for me, career-wise and personal development-wise.  This period is likely to last till the end of September.  But knowing me, I have little patience when it comes to my own self-development (don’t we all?).  As usual, I’m going to attempt to speed up the time frame.  My spirit guide’s telling me not to do that!  We argue sometimes.  NBD.  Haha!

Would you like to work on your intuition?  Try this exercise: close your eyes and breathe deeply in a quiet space until you feel calm and ready.  You could be sitting outside, lying in bed, or standing in your kitchen.  Get rid of distractions even if it’s just for 10 minutes.  Guide your thoughts and ask your higher self/Universe/spirit guide/angels to send you signs.

Always be specific about what you are requesting.  If you want a sign regarding money, ask for it.  If you want a message regarding how to deal with an annoying coworker, request it that way.  The more specific you are, the more poignant the symbols will be.  You’ll keep getting them until you listen.  Sometimes we ignore signs because we think they are ludicrous or they can’t be real.  The Universe has a sense of humour and will keep pestering you until you bloody well respond and say “Ok, ok, I get it now!!”

If you are not used to this exercise, you’ll have to do it repeatedly over several days before the signs may appear.  Don’t give up, everything happens when it’s supposed to.  The point is to have faith that you’ll receive the signs when you are ready.  Try this for the next week and turn on that giant satellite dish in your head to receive the signals you’ve been waiting for!

Of course, it doesn’t end there.  When you start receiving the symbols, it’s also up to you to put the puzzle pieces together.  That’s where it gets murky.  As my blog develops, I’ll attempt to toss a few pointers your way on symbol interpretation.  Good luck!

A Definition

A Definition

What is a goddess?  I speak a lot about this in my blog posts regarding surrounding myself with women who I consider goddesses.  But what does that look like to me?  What might that look like for someone else?

Do we consider goddesses to be these statuesque beauties that enthrall both men and women as they walk by?

What about women who have made their own way in the world and overcome great barriers to get to where they are?

How about women who suffer and survive the hardships in their lives?

Perhaps they are women who have overcome great anxiety within themselves and learned coping strategies to better manage their mental and emotional turmoil within.

Goddesses come in all shapes and sizes and they certainly don’t look the same.  One thing they all have in common is that they support one another through thick and thin and bring each other up. Goddesses inspire, teach and live their truth.  They encourage others to follow their own paths, wherever they may lead without fear or judgement.  This is integrity and being in command of one’s own life.  The key to being a goddess is that no one can boss her around!

One cannot be a goddess if she is fearful of her own shadow, lives with overwhelming anxiety and worry, and cowers in the darkness when things get a little tough.  Seek help for this.  No one wants to live in fear and the constant barrage of the critical voices inside your head. It is possible to turn a critic into a fan! If you are aspiring to be a goddess, it’s time to fight those demons and stand up for what you believe.

Who do you want to be?  Who are you right now?  Deep questions can lead to extraordinary answers!

Goddesses walk among us

Goddesses walk among us

Once upon a time, I used to be a sorority girl.  Back in 2002, I decided to return to University to complete a bachelor’s degree in Commerce.  After one semester of hating my classes, I switched to Political Science.  In that first month, I came across a booth at the University of Calgary’s Club Week where a few cheery faced girls greeted me with big smiles and invited me to their recruitment sessions.  I was intrigued.  In fact, I wanted to see what kind of bimbos would show up to this thing so I could make fun of them later with my friends.

I was a very jaded 20-something who believed everything she saw on tv about US sororities.  The Canadian counterparts (especially in Calgary) are tame in comparison and a lot of stereotypes were shattered in my time at university.

Turns out the “bimbos” were all regular women in all sorts of degree programs that I would never have had a chance to meet if I wasn’t in the Panhellenic Room that week.  The Panhellenic organization is the umbrella group that oversees the good relations among sororities (female fraternities) and ensures that recruitment is done fairly so that new members have a chance to make a well-informed decision without being biased by bells and whistles, better party room selection, or flashier decorations.  The system is not perfect by any means, but they do their best.

I met with the ladies of Alpha Gamma Delta and Alpha Omicron Pi in the last week of September 2002, which is typically recruitment week.  The ladies in both groups were welcoming.  They were all so interested in learning about me and their networking strategies for meeting people within a large group are still skills I use today in the corporate world.

My first choice was Alpha Gamma Delta.  I fell in love with the girls in the room and I really wanted to be a part of that group.  When I got in my heart swelled with the knowledge they wanted me too.

Through Alpha Gam, I learned how to run a business.  We had meetings where we dressed up in business casual attire and discussed all the operations of the organization, including events we were planning, doing reports, holding offices, and doing presentations relevant to the women.  We had to deal with budgets, our international headquarters, and study halls.  Our collective GPA had to remain above a certain level and those who worked the hardest in school were rewarded with scholarships through AGD and other awards.  It was a good feeling to work hard and to also be acknowledged for your accomplishments.

Another thing that happens when you hang out with a bunch of women is that you become really close friends.  My sisters were there for me through thick and thin.  Every lunch hour, I had someone to sit with.  Studying at the library was more fun because my friends were with me.  We partied together, but we worked our butts off to keep those grades high.  We consoled each other through break ups.  We counselled each other when we had problems with our boyfriends, coworkers, friends or family.

In 2005, I convocated from my undergraduate program and became an alumna of AGD. I feel strongly that some of the friendships that are made in University end up becoming permanent.  I’m not sure if my sisters feel the same way, but even though many of us are out of touch, we still know each other intimately and could pick up the phone and call anyone to help us in a bind.  The bonds of sisterhood are unshakeable and I am grateful to have had such a strong female presence in my life over a decade ago.  I reminisce about that time with great fondness.  That’s not to say we didn’t have our catfights and gossip problems.  I also learned how to deal with conflict resolution through those experiences.  Haha!

Why am I bringing this experience up?  I work a lot with goddess energy.  I’m drawn to large groups of women all the time.  Not just any women, but women who are passionate about what they do and fearlessly tackle the biggest problems anyone has had to face.  They laugh, they cry, they disappear but then re-emerge stronger.  These goddesses inspire me to keep working towards my own goals.  Being a part of that powerful feminine energy is divinity on earth.

If you have not found that group that inspires you yet, I say keep looking.  Reconnect with old friends.  Make new friends.  Go out and seek people who are like-minded.  Stay away from people who are judgmental and don’t accept you.  Toxic people drain your energy.  Trust your gut and surround yourself with love.

Thanks for reading!

Happy Summer Solstice

Happy Summer Solstice

It’s the first day of summer!  And this year we have a full moon to contend with: the Strawberry Moon (which marks the beginning of the strawberry season).  I read basically one article to verify my info and it sounded legit so now you can sound smart when you’re talking to your friends and coworkers today about it.  Haha!

A time for rebirth, hot days and evenings, sitting on patios and decks, spending time with friends, and mosquito bites!  The days supposedly start to get shorter as well in the Northern Hemisphere. Well, you can’t have the good without the bad.  Everything in balance!

The full moon is a great time to tie up loose ends.  Imagine the journey that you’ve taken since the last full moon (which is typically a month) and decide what you will put to rest, and what you will continue working on.  It’s a great time to clear your head and re-focus on your goals.  What would you like to accomplish in the next month?  I want to challenge myself to work out more and reconnect with old friends who I’ve lost touch with.

Also, it’s a Monday morning as I type this.  I am drinking a lot of coffee. 😉

Knee scopes and spirit guides

Knee scopes and spirit guides

Last week, I underwent a minor surgical procedure to trim a torn medial meniscus in my left knee.  I had injured it skiing 2.5 years prior and it only started acting up in October 2015.  My surgeon did a knee arthroscopy to correct the problem and I’ve been in healing since.

However, in the week leading up to the surgery, I was filled with anxiety about it.  Literally anything and everything would set me off in a dangerous spiral of paranoia and debilitating fear.  I would hyperventilate and breath shallow.  There was tightness in my throat and chest.  I would start crying about the dumbest things.  This type of psychological drama is foreign to me.  I normally keep my wits about me and am typically fearless in all aspects of my life.  So what the hell happened to my confidence?  I know, it all went to shit!

In any case, I called on my spirit guide frequently leading up to the date of my scope.  Never having gone through an invasive procedure like this,  I was terrified of something going wrong.  What if there was a scar left behind?  What if I could never walk again if the surgeon messed up?  What if I died on the operating table from some freak blood clot?  What if the local anesthesia didn’t work and I felt everything?  Aaaaaahhhhhh!

I was so anxious that I, in fact, didn’t even tell my family the date of my surgery because my mom is usually a nervous wreck anyway and I didn’t want the burden of having to ease her mind when my own wasn’t even close to having it together.  She was mad at me for not telling her, but I had my reasons and I am still quite sure I made the right decision on that one.

While I awaited surgery, my spirit guide, Inanna, came into my little waiting “room” and kept me company.  I told her to show up in full adult form in front of me.  She did.  I asked her to show herself in her glory, in the Mesopotamian military regalia that I expected she wore (not the fairy queen outfit I gave her in my mind so she could be pretty).  I asked her to show herself as a warrior because that’s who I needed in that room.  She held my hand and told me everything would be fine.  She stood watch over me as I fitfully stared at the ceiling and awaited the nurse to call me in.  Inanna wore ornate, scaled bronze armour minus the weapons, and when I saw that, it shielded me too.  After all, she is the Goddess of War (among other things including love, sex and fertility.)

Inanna, accompanied me to the OR and stood by to ensure that I was ok.  This was the first time I felt her incredibly warm presence and reassurance for such a prolonged period of time.  Much to my relief everything went fine with the procedure. It only took 15 minutes from the time the incisions were made and the time the surgeon sealed the wounds.  Easy peasy lemon squeezy!

The recovery this week has been going well.  I am able to walk, have no blood clots and I await the steri tapes falling off at some point so I can inspect my scars underneath.  I’ve heard chicks dig scars!  Haha!  Steri tapes hold incisions closed so that stitches are not required to be removed later.

Have you called on your spirit guides/angels/guardians in times of need and healing?  If you haven’t yet, give it a shot! Allow them to bring their wealth of knowledge and unconditional love to the table.  I found I didn’t have to fight my fears alone.  My friends also listened to my incessant ramblings and I credit them with keeping me sane. But I had someone else with me the whole time which brought immense peace to me even when I thought I was spiraling out of control.

Inanna told me that this experience was to be my baptism into the next chapter of my life and I was to shed my old skin.  Sometimes we don’t always understand the messages that our guides give us, but we have to be open to the communication.

Universe, in the meantime, I say BRING IT!


Trust your gut, not your brain

Trust your gut, not your brain

Recently, I felt this crushing weight of anxiety.  You know what I’m talking about.  The perpetual state of fear that something is going to go terribly wrong.  You don’t know when or how, but you just KNOW. You feel this burning sensation in your gut.  The grey cloud of heaviness becomes overwhelming.  This could be depression but it’s not.  This sudden onset of anxiety hits you and you second guess it. EVERY. TIME.

How do we learn to trust our natural ability to sense danger?  Sometimes anxiety is based in fear.  Fear is a thought.  A thought is not real.  Therefore the fear is not real, and anxiety is based on nothing.  Right?  Maybe.

But what if you have always had that sixth sense?  Do you find yourself talking yourself out of that intrinsic fight or flight situation?

I confronted my anxiety head on and realized that I was right about it.  My fear was real.  In fact, I should have probably dealt with it sooner than I had.  But everything happens for a reason and with divine timing (things will happen when they are supposed to happen.  Not a moment sooner.)

This wasn’t the first time I had tried talking myself out of my anxiety and of course it didn’t work.  Sometimes we have to just go with our gut and tackle whatever it is that brings us needless suffering.  As a woman who is developing her confidence in body, mind and now spirit, I feel like that my own spiritual connection can sometimes be muddied by rationality.

One thing my close girlfriends and I have discussed is that when you feel “vibes” about something, you’re probably right.  You can’t ignore those red flags about a situation or a person.  Rationality and instincts don’t mix.  Think of it in terms of society vs. nature:  society teaching us what it means to be rational; nature having come from our adaptations and evolution.  Which one of these things has a longer history in the planetary timeline and is more likely to be accurate: rationality or instinct?  Instinct.

I’m not sure that this will help you with your anxiety especially if you suffer from a psychological condition related to this.  But for those of you who are managing without medical intervention, think and feel what’s right and then act on it.  Don’t suffer and spiral down the rabbit hole of darkness.  It’s not worth the sleepless nights.  Have some confidence that your instincts are meant to protect you.  Ignoring them means you protect no one.

And if you are a friend having to talk another friend “off the ledge” so to speak, be empathetic to the reason why this person is feeling crummy.  It could very well be that there is something wrong and that something needs to be done.  We have a tendency to disregard an anxious friend who might have these outbursts frequently, and chances are that this person may require some psychological counselling and should seek professional help. In any case, you can be the judge of whether your friend’s anxiety is based on reality or fear.  Determine if the fear is real.  Sometimes the best thing you can do is talk it out and help that friend feel better.  And if that doesn’t work, Google has a full list of professionals in your area that can help.

Body Confidence: Part 3

Body Confidence: Part 3

A girlfriend of mine convinced me to attend a burlesque show back in June 2012.  At the time, I didn’t really have much of a concept of what burlesque was.  Like most people, I just assumed it was a more theatrical and lavish form of striptease.  While this is the case, the show I attended was presented by real women.  Wives, daughters, grandmothers, mothers, sisters, and girlfriends.  Women of all shapes, sizes and ages.  They strutted around in their corsets, vintage hairdo’s, fishnets and heels.  My breath was swept away as I literally started salivating the moment I walked in the room to be surrounded by a throng of exquisite babes.  I was enchanted immediately by the dancers.  They were humourous but also technical (especially those level 4 and 5 dancers).  The women teased us with their hands, eyes, props, legs, and smiles.

How is it possible for these women to be so damn confident in a room full of strangers?  These ladies were not stripping at all.  That’s not what Burlesquercise is about.  Burlesquercise was created by renowned ballroom dance coach and judge, Di Lefebvre. It is a form of fitness that embraces the beauty of women and allows them to feel confident inside and out through dance.  Women come from all walks of life and all income, age, and size backgrounds.  All are welcome and appreciated!  Once you are part of the tribe, even if you leave, you still remain friends with some of the most beautiful women you’ve ever met.  And man do they have killer curves and moves!

Immediately after the show, I signed up for Burlesquercise 101.  I was so nervous to attend that first class in the summer.  It turns out everyone was just as nervous as me!  Were we supposed to strip?  I didn’t really know what to expect.

Miss Annick was my instructor and she was a petite, fiesty brunette.  Her piercing dark eyes and calm face revealed nothing…until she opened her mouth and we all started laughing.  She made us feel instantly comfortable in our bodies by forcing us to close our eyes and then feel ourselves up.  Annick cracked all sorts of dirty jokes and we giggled our way to abs! We oooooo’d and aaaaahhh’d our way through the vowels while “zoning”.  Each zone represents a different part of the body.  Zone 1 is the hair, head and face.  Zone 2 is the breasts.  Zone 3 is the stomach and torso.  Zone 4 is the hips.  Zone 5 is the butt and legs.  Sometimes I zone just to put an extra spring in my step!

The next lesson was to open our eyes, look around the room and watch everyone else doing what we all just did with our eyes closed.  When no one was looking, we were safe.  But now here we were, women touching our own bodies and actually sounding excited and positively orgasmic doing it!  I was so turned on in fact, I rushed home and mauled my dear husband in my sweaty gym clothes, which I never had the audacity to try before!

How had I gone through my life without this course?  Why are more women not doing this?  This could literally save marriages and relationships by making women more comfortable in their own skin!  I fell in love and never stopped signing up for classes again.  My burly resume now includes 3 galas and 1 Rocky Mountain Dancesport Grand Prix performance.  I never thought I’d ever perform like that!  I look in the mirror now and smile brightly at myself.  It takes several minutes for me to behold the beauty in front of me and check out my body a few times a day.  My curves are downright dangerous and I know how to use them!

Miss Leslie and Miss Kim round out the foursome of delightful teachers.  Both are energetic and powerful dancers.  If you’ve ever seen Leslie dance with a giant headdress of ostrich feathers and sequined outfit on a hot day at a street festival, you know what I’m talking about!  The ladies crack all sorts of jokes in class!  We sweat to death with ballroom drills and Zumba warmups.  These women are not only mentors but they really try to get to know all the students.  I feel cared for and appreciated.  They hug me and ask me how I am.  They know my name!  I don’t think I’ve ever gone through that in a spin or yoga class before.

I still can’t walk in heels for the life of me…until you bust out some music and all of a sudden I’m strutting and spinning like I actually know what I’m doing.  It doesn’t even matter because the confidence overtakes any flaws in the execution!

Nowadays I get turned on by feathers and high heels.  I even feel daring enough to wear fishnets to the office from time to time.  My heart beats a little faster when I slide into a body hugging dress.  I strut in the Plus 15’s and make eye contact with strangers.  We were encouraged to practice this by our Burlesquercise instructors to improve our performance skills.

I love the power I have now with a hip sway, a sideways glance, a scarlet pout, and a flip of my hair.  It’s mastery and it’s divinity.  I am a Goddess.  Thank you, Burlesquercise for giving me body confidence that I never had without you and your vixens!

Thanks for reading this series of posts on body confidence.  My next post will take us back into the spiritual realm where we explore confidence related to mediumship and psychic readings.  Everything we experience in our lives is connected to the overall plan.  Becoming confident in one part of your life means confidence comes easier for everything that you do.